A Plea for Treatment

You may not realize that there’s a growing catalog of BRDs (blogging-related disorders), which already includes OBS (oblivious blogger syndrome, identified and described by Michelle Wheeler). I believe the time has come to add frenetic commenter disorder, or FCD. (Please note: FCD is difficult to distinguish from LCD, lazy commenter disorder, particularly since they relate to the motivating factor. For more on this, see below.)

Since it’s important to understand a disorder and its symptoms before attempting treatment, I thought it necessary to get the word out. The FCD sufferer typically reads more blogs than any one human being should, so many, in fact, that they feel behind even before they start reading. As a result, they comment on any and every post.

Because they want to contribute to the blogosphere’s continuity, they feel responsible for its continued success, after reading a post called “They Served Cereal at Alcatraz,” about the inhumanity of most breakfast cereals, they dash off a comment about how much they love eggs benedict. Here’s where it gets sticky. It’s not the content per se that’s the problem. The FCD sufferer is a blogger’s best friend in one sense. But the frenetic component of the disorder leads them to disregard proper syntax, anything remotely resembling grammar, and spelling–well, to quote The Book of Armaments, spelling “is right out!” My personal favorite misspelling is ‘teh’ for ‘the’, but the list is endless.

Listen, no one wants or needs Spelling Police running around. But if you or someone you love suffers from FCD, help is available. In fact, you have the power to treat yourself. Take thirty seconds and read over your comment before clicking submit. Your blogging friends will thank you. I will thank you.

This message brought to you by the letters T, H, and E, and by the number 1.

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