I do not get addicted to TV shows.
Particularly reality shows. I am, however, addicted to Rock Star:INXS. The thought of auditioning for (and having the proverbial snowball’s chance of winning) the microphone in front of one of the great bands of the eighties and early nineties is very appealing to me. Plus, it makes American Idol look more like American Toddler (“Look, Mommy, I’m singin’ a song!”). You’d never catch somebody singing Black Sabbath’s “Paranoid” or Nirvana’s “Heart-Shaped Box” on Idol. And even if you did, Paula would frown, Randy would say, “I just didn’t feel it, dog,” and Simon . . . well, who cares what Simon would say? On RS, you get to see and hear Dave Navarro criticize the contestants.
So it got me thinking. In no particular order, the bands for whom I would have made a devastating front man (pun intended; shut up, you hecklers!):
The Beatles: A joke. (Stop heckling!)
U2: Another joke.
Lord of the Dance: Sorry. Wrong list.
Okay, seriously. The bands for whom I wish I could have made a devastating front man.
The Police: Gordon Sumner, aka Sting, and company consistently delivered, but if I could have sung “Roxanne.”
King’s X: THE band of my high school days.
King’s X brought everything together, particularly during the “Gretchen Goes to Nebraska/FaithHopeLove” era.
SIDEBAR: I did a speed metal phase too–all Christian , of course–during the heyday of Intense Records. I’ll have to blog that sometime. DELIVERANCE! TOURNIQUET! VENGEANCE RISING! MORTAL!!
Petra: Okay, I admit this is sad. But there was a time… Greg X Volz was amazing in his day (before the EC performance fiascoes), but John Schlitt was never very good.
Dag: Raleigh, NC, band whose Righteous remains one of my favorites and who put on a blistering show.
Led Zeppelin: ah-ah-Ah-AH! ah-ah-Ah-AH!
That’ll have to do for now.